I recently discovered that I do “maladaptive daydreaming” which is similar to regular daydreaming but it’s immersive and can be frustrating to control.

I explain it like this: you know when you get home from work and you realize you don’t remember the entire drive? that’s what maladaptive daydreaming is like, but all day long. it’s like radio interference where another channel starts to bleed into the one you’re trying to listen to.

the solution is to do “be here now” exercises. are there clouds in the sky? what color are my socks? some phone apps help, like the bird song app. you have to be totally quiet while you hold your phone out, trying to capture the sound of a bird in order to identify it. and for me, taking photos of what I am experiencing brings me back to the present.

it’s often linked to pain and suffering. a method of escape. almost a form of meditation.

luckily I have the artistic ability and the finances to bring some of my inner visions to actuality. I had walked through my finished addition before construction had even started. when I start to draw something, it already exists on the page. it’s like I’m seeing into the future.

it does make me feel like I’m missing some parts of my life, like a david byrne song, how did I get here? and the yucky part is that it’s considered to be the mild first step toward multiple personality disorder now called dissociative identity disorder. I get it. if I don’t tether myself to this moment, I will split apart.

how to help someone who does it? talk about this moment. invite me to feel your new shirt, ask about how I like the shoes I’m wearing, play word games or think of puns. when you’re watching a movie, pause it to look up the actors and other movies they have been in.

anyway I wanted to share this video with you if you’re interested. the word “dark” doesn’t apply to me personally. everyone’s experience is different.